Thoughts on being a new mom...

I am writing this blog for the history of my family. I want to be able to remember what was going on in our lives at different points. It's important for me to document the comings and goings and life changing events of our life. However, I also want to write my feelings and thoughts that accompany these events. I want my children to be able to look at this blog and get a glimpse of what was going on in my mind during certain times in their lives. I have been thinking about this a lot since having Leila. I especially want her to be able to read what I went through as a new mom so that she can have that for a support. I don't want to forget these feelings 20 years from now when she really might need them.  

Being a new mom is hard. One thing that has been especially hard is older moms who look at new moms and laugh at their "new mom ideas".  Hearing all the "Good luck with that" or "See how that works for ya..." has surprised me. I'm not saying that I'm perfect or that I know the right answer for everything. But I do know that the moment Leila was born, I was overwhelmed with an understanding of her. Who she is, what she needs. What no one else has. Leila is a daddy's girl. She has a special smile and a special laugh reserved only for her dad. But our relationship too is unique. And having her, I finally understand why my mom and I have such a good relationship . There is no relationship like the one you have with your mother.

So when people laugh at my new mom ideas, I just say, "Hey, I'm figuring it out!" And I pray every day that I don't screw something up. That I don't mess something up for the rest of her life. But I know what's best for her, and I know that Heavenly Father has given me the ability to know what's right for Leila and for our family. I want to write these things down because I never want to make a new mom feel even more like they are second guessing their own ideas. I want Leila, when she becomes a mom, to have the courage to be the kind of mom she wants to be not the kind I was. Sure, maybe she'll pick up things that I did, and that's part of being a new mom...sorting through the piles of advice that you've been given from so many different sources. But here's me, a new mom of two months, saying to myself and Leila and any other new mom or any mom (not just new), "You're doing fine!" Trust yourself, pray a lot, give lots of hugs and kisses, and just cherish every moment you have of this stage. It all goes by way too quick. Don't worry about criticism or judging, because YOU are the mom, and that means something.